Calzowned is slowly moving forward. We have finally helped Brick get his weapon and make that 25 Primordial Saronite worth its weight in the gold that he spent. Also now as we have downed them we can work on some more of the instance and continue moving forward.
With guild members starting to mix and match groups each week we are seeing more and more players making a push through ICC 10 each week. With a couple of groups that are now running regularly and members still pugging what they can we have allowed our members to experience these fights that we see each week in 25’s at a smaller scale and this allows them to work on execution and mechanics. I know of 3 or 4 groups that are now moving through the first 4 bosses and even the first 6 without any deaths at all. This is great to see as it will help us to gear towards progression in 25’s. So keep doing what you are doing and if you aren’t doing anything to help yourself don’t expect us to carry you…
Next, it is awesome to see that we are getting some new recruits and that we starting to re-establish ourselves with solid people and numbers. And finally lets not forget that Calzowned vent is for Calzowned members. Yes if you are running a pug it isn’t a bad thing to use vent for coordination, but we aware that we have had some incidents over the last little while and if you aren’t running the pug let them find their own vent so we don’t end up with people who have no class (outside of the members in guild we already know of *cough* Nas) coming in and spamming vent or causing issues.
Thanks for your and I leave you with this little piece of did you know trivia.
The very first bomb that the Allies dropped on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo, it is said.
This has been a Calzowned Update
Having found some new members and having had some old members return Calzowned has packed their bags for a much needed trip to ICC. Upon arriving they quickly browsed the main entrance stopping shortly to visit with Lord Marrow and Lady Death before heading up the lift where they would board the Zeppelin for a nice Sunday float above Ice Crown. While lounging around enjoying some Mammoth rides courtesy of Sull, the were involved in an unpleasant accident with some Alliance show boaters. Rather than just let things be, we showed them why we keep a rocket pact next to the driver seat. After handling the situation maturely (shooting their ship out of the air) we headed in the balcony door where we were welcomed by DB Saurfang and his lovely beasts. After a short family squabble we headed inside to visit the rest of the household. Once inside we played with Precious and Stinky (someone needs a bath) before heading to see Festergut and Rotface. I was like really who names their kids like that and then we saw these lovely beasts, I mean boys, I mean WoW you have a face only a Doctor could love. Speaking of which have you met Doctabrick? He is single, lives in a home for the gifted, but only 1 week at a time, other than that he is staying at his grandma’s. I can hook you guys up, but psssst. he likes cats so the dogs might have to go. Anyways this is where our trip pauses but only for a short time…
If you pew pew from a far and are born before 1990 then maybe we are a match. Calzowned is looking for Locks, Mages and Healers. If this is you, please continue on and check out our recruitment forums for a possible match made in Northrend.
We dont have 200 questions for you to answer like some other match making services, but we do have a couple and if you answer them well, we will try and get you matched to a great guild where you can make some new friendships and explore new content as we move through ICC together.
Looking forward to hearing from you and seeing you on the forums.
We have now moved past Saurfang into ICC and have started our courting of the lovely Festergut and Rotface. let me tell you this, there don’t seem to attractive, but lets face it after a couple of beers we have all done worse right Nas? haha. Anyways. we hope to attempt a couple of new strats on these 2 thanks to our Aussie friend Jes and her ideas (not that they are backwards, you need to remeber that the toilets flush the other way down there.)
Also Recruiting is still open, please feel free to look and see what we need (Everything that isnt melee lol) j/k if you are a warm body with a friendly soul and can get along well with others then check us out.
Now that holidays are over and R/L is on the back burner again it’s time to look at getting another kick at the ICC can. Over the holidays many of us turned to downing the 10 man versions and were very successful and some of us even set new person records of whoreish deeds by becoming Exhalted with the Ashen Verdict already and that’s cool *Cough WHORE Cough*. Now we have moved our 25 mans back into ICC and having downed Lord Marrowgar where it was brought to our attention that “yes he does have a pelvis”. These things are a very necessary part of raiding content and the mechanics for such need to be worked out (hahaha).
Next up for Calzowned is Lady Death and with raid turnout improving and the masses (Brick) searching for ways to make our lives easier so that Nas doesn’t in his words “put his head through a wall”. Be sure to check the forums and don’t be afraid to read up on the upcoming encounters. Just because your GS says 5k doesn’t mean you can heal, dps or tank. GS doesn’t fix stupid so help yourself and run some instances on your own. Lady Death is another fight that will require us as a whole to work together and down her. If we take the time and turn down the suck we will soon be moving on to Bear Ass Rockets and the fun that is the Gun Ship. (Formally accepting bets on who is the first tard to fly off the ship when we get there).
Calzowned is still in the process of recruiting so in a post on the forums, you need to make sure to answer the following questions:
1. Why Calzowned?
2. What are you hoping to get out of WOW?
3. What are you hoping to get out of a guild?
4. How many hours per week to you normally play, and what nights?
5. What is your character’s role in raids?
6. What is your raid experience?
7. What is your feeling on pvp?
8. How old are you?
Thanks for your time and remember to look into getting some gear and Help Us Help You.
Prepi
After an eventful past 6 months we have seen our family grow again with a rebuilding of sorts that has allowed us to continue to be the progression guild we have always been known for. We are still casual in that we only raid two nights a week, but our efforts are not unnoticed as we have been moving forward since the release of new content. We made steady progress into Ulduar where we stopped in to visit Yogg Saron and as you can see not exactly the blind date we had in mind. We were told that Yogg would be the girl of our dreams (If Girls Played WoW). So we passed for now as we had just had lunch and didn’t want the image that Yogg had left in our heads to follow us the rest of the day. How will we forget the worst blind date ever, I mean it reminds me of the time we caught Doctabrick hitting on that girl in Booty Bay after Brewfest. I mean hey, maybe girl meant (Guy In Real Life), but hey you can always take her home to meet grandma and play with the cat I guess.
Next our journey led us to the northern peaks of Ice Crown where someone thought it would be fun to have a tournament so nerds can rage and ride different kinds of animals all day. Once there we found ourselves drawn to fight at the promise of getting to see to Val’kyr Twins. First thing I thought was that the game had finally decided it was time to show a little girl on girl action. I mean who else didn’t think these twins would be like Swedish twins. But to our dismay these two twins were not interested in having us just watch so we had to slap them around a bit and send them home sadder then we were. After we had slapped the twins around we were visited by their pimp the Lich King. He goes on to let us in on the fact that someone was stupid enough to build this tourney on top of a WoW Roach motel and now we have to visit the manager. So as we fall through the floor we see the water below and figure at least the landing will be soft. That is until Sullanciri decides that Path of Frost would be cool, needless to say it wasn’t. In the words of Chutoi “That will cost you Karma”. Don’t get me wrong I laughed my ass off, but really if you didn’t at least smile you must be dead. Wait you all were hahaha. Ok I am good. When we finally got up and going again we found out that the manager of this Roach Motel was some guy named Anub’arak. It took a couple of visits to exterminate this NY sized roach, but once again Calzowned showed that we are masochists who love punishment and we kind of know what we are doing.
We have now lived through the first week of a new patch and have started our journey into ICC. ICC is like that old house up on the hill you should stay away from and you know it, but you just can’t so we ventured through the front doors unannounced and found out that we are in for a treat. The fights here finally make it feel like raiding again. I mean there is a little bit of trash here and there and we have to coordinate the pulls again and that is something we haven’t done in way to long. Priests can use shackle again and man are pallys going to be OP in here with all this dead walking around. So yes RuffoBrick will feel huge (when we don’t make him tank) and OMFG can you imaging having to hear Doctabrick say how leet he is in his LawLbringer gear (Because you know he has it in his bags). Through some hard work and sleepless nights because all you hear in your dreams is “I’m on a spike god damn it, someone kill this thing” and “hahaha, spiked and in the fire, that is great.” All of which will lead to Nas calling for a wipe and being the only one who was ready to die (unless of course you were DI’d on a GOD DAMN SPIKE) hahaha fun times will be had in here and I’m sure some of them will hurt the pocket book, so you should all feel free to FARM because its easy to make some money and get some gear to help us help you!!!
Yeah, so besides the actual release of Wrath and all the new content to explore, there’s not really much to say is there? The raid content in Wrath so far has been quite easy.
We’ve had a few ups and downs since Wrath came out, but we’re still plodding along.
The important thing is that we’re still here and still progressing! We haven’t downed Sarth3D yet, but so goes. We are however recruiting players to fill out our ranks as we prepare for Ulduar. We are especially looking for healers of all flavors, but we are open to all mature, easy going players.
Somewhere, deep in the bowels of the Blizzard Entertainment Command Bunker…
Blizzard Employee #37: Sir, we have a problem.
Blizzard Raid Development Engineer, middle grade (class II): <Sighs> What is it now, 37?
#37: We’ve received a call from an angry player sir, a mage.
BRDE:mg (II): An angry mage eh, there’s a shocker. Transfer ‘m down to the mage class mental torment R & D division, they’ll take care of it.
#37: Actually sir, he’s calling to complain about his Guild, and the sorry state of our raid encounters… he called us “pansies” sir <cringes away from BRDE:mg(II)>
angry silence falls over the bunker.
BRDE:mg (II): <glares at 37> Pansies?
#37: Uh, yeah. He said his guild keeps beating our encounters… we’re not making them tough enough.
BRDE:mg (II): That’s absurd! He’s absurd! Tell him he’s absurd! His guild is probably a bunch of mountain-dew chugging, hunch-backed toe sweaters who’ve sacrificed everything to the angry raid gods to feed their item ilevel addiction, that doesn’t count!
#37: He, umm…, says they’re a “casual” guild sir. They keep beating our BT bosses the first night they try them .
BRDE:mg (II): Akama doesn’t count, you know what we did with the hopeless incompetent that designed that sorry excuse for a raid boss.
#37: No sir, he said last week it was Bloodboil, and this week it was Reliquary. Just to rub it in, he said they’ll probably go ahead and finish Mother this Sunday because they haven’t really got anything better to do.
BRDE:mg (II): By Archimonde’s pee-stained tighty whities! What the hell is his problem anyway?!?
#37 : He can’t play Wednesdays, sir.
BRDE:mg (II): Can’t. Play. Wednesdays?
#37: No sir. He says that on Tuesdays, they farm all the earlier bosses they’ve done before, then on Wednesdays his guild kills the next new boss. He’s angry because he doesn’t get to participate.
BRDE:mg (II): Doesn’t participate?
#37: He plays twice per week.
BRDE:mg (II): <deflates> Twice per week… what does he think WE can do about this.
#37: Well, for starters, he’s hoping we can turn the difficulty up on Wednesday nights… I believe he said ‘crank her to 11 midweek’, whatever that means; either that, or nerf warlocks, hunters, warriors, and rogues.
BRDE:mg (II): <knowing smile spreads across his face> AHA! Beneath it all, I taste the sweet tang of mage qq tears! 37, patch through to the mage class mental torment R & D division, tell them we’ve got a live one for them.
BRDE:mg (II): Oh, and #37, let’s see if we can’t slow these guys down some… <sinister chuckle>. Call double agent Chutoi and make sure he’s available on Wednesday nights, that should take care of “progression” for a while…
No, not talking about a rolling stop.
It took exactly three tries to lance the boil on Gurtogg’s hairy…
Well, let’s not go there.
This guild, casual though it may be, has a tendency to blow through the more mundane bosses the moment you blink, and they did it to me again last week. The callous disregard they show for our more temporally overallocated members by first timing bosses hurtses us, yes it does precious.
As such, those of us who can only play two nights per week, may have to start putting out contracts on the Wednesday Nighters in an effort to slow them down, so we get a chance to come out to play too.
So if you happen to know any alliance of questionable ethic and moral fiber, who roam in packs and wouldn’t mind jumping lone Calzowned members on wednesday nights when they have them seriously outnumbered, please send them…
HA! See what I did there! That describes all of you, you alliance pansies! (apologies to Jeskia, who is only a part-time pansy). I’m not going to pay for what I can get for free!
(On the other hand, feel free to gank any and all calzowned members you come across on Wednesdays. Those of us with less free time on our hands may just thank you for it.)
Oh yeah, and congrats on Bloodboil.
I guess.
(jerks).
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