Calzowned.org

It was the easiest night of raiding ever.

I didn’t use a single mana pot, healthstone, mana gem… (I did hit iceblock by accident once), the night flew by in a haze of mindless sweet oblivion.

Of course, I was at the auction house… the screams of the damned and dying over Vent and Guildchat said otherwise as the rest of the guild threw themselves at Naj’entus, Supremus, and Akama.

Or at least that’s what I wanted to hear… that I was somehow desperately needed to rush in there and save the day. Sadly, it turns out the buggers went and two-shotted everything, so apparently we have some pretty good players in the guild. (Not all of them mind you).

(HA! See what I did there? Now you’re wondering, “Am I one of the good ones, or the not so good ones?” I jest… You’re all good. (Maybe)   …(not Hopkins)).

With Supremus and Akama falling last night, that makes 6 new bosses down in 4 nights of raiding, which I’d like to think is pretty good for a casual guild that tries to raid only 2 nights per week (working on that third night now, much to the dismay of significant others everywhere).

Of course, we’re running out of punks to fight, and will have to start getting serious… with a little luck maybe tonight we can get a sneak peak at Archimonde and the russian roulette that is the Archimonde dance.

(Apparently they’re celebrating their 28th birthday in Portland .)

With last week’s foray into Mount Hyjal resulting in 3 new notches in our metaphoric swords, we turned our attention this week to Black Temple.

What a dump! The pinnacle of WoW’s instance library feels like a perverse, twisted version of Molten Core, only with 900% more camera and “stuck in a crack” annoyance factor. Having said that, the intrepid (and cowardly, let’s not forget the cowardly) explorers sloshed through the slime, setting their target on Naj’entus.

Nothing quite shows one’s affection for a guildmate like pulling a giant spine out of their forehead…
I think there’s a sort of perverse pleasure in watching Throt run in to tank a mob and get instagibbed from lack of healing… although in this case it looks like the culprit may have been a miscount on the number of healers we brought with us as opposed to the usual more sinister agenda.

In the frenzy of culling our figurative (and literal!) horde down to the requisite 25, we apparently didn’t realize that only 7 of those were of the healing persuasion. 8 wipes before we successfully popped bubble-boys bubble permanently will teach us to use more than one hand to count our healers next time. In all fairness to the healers, the 7 of them DID manage to get us to sub 10% on Naj several times, so kudos where kudos are deserved.

While it was getting a little late, we were feeling bloodthirsty (is there any other way for horde to feel?), and being a mere 20 minutes from our first encounter with Supremus, we couldn’t resist the lure of free epics (after all, everyone says he’s a pushover, right)?

Well, apparently everyone who DIDN’T think he’s a pushover had less than 21,000 hp and is lying in a shallow grave somewhere, as we were left scratching our heads as to why he kept turning and instagibbing the melee dps. We eventually figured out his nasty trick with the double hateful bolts in under a second.

Sadly, this revelation came about 10 minutes AFTER we called the raid as it was getting late, but hey, Supremus? (is that a Taco Bell special?), we know your naughty secret, and we’ll be back this week.

First of, credit to where it’s due, this update is brought to you by Eanne. No screenshots available, as I was slacking last night…but we may add some later!

The night didn’t start out well.

A certain rogue (name withheld so he can live with his shame privately), while clicking through Jaina’s dialog in a vain attempt to leave the instance, sent the guild scrambling ignominiously into the hills for their life when the event was started with only half the raid in the zone.

After Jaina picked herself up from a quick dirtnap, Calzowned’s first foray into Mount Hyjal went much more smoothly… Like an 800 lb gorilla, the group brute forced down the first 8 waves of trash on its first attempt, putting Rage Winterchill back in the ground where he belongs; a rousing round of cheers rang out when it was discovered that no one important had died.

Anetheron was next to the plate, and schooled the raid in the gentle art of boss management when it was discovered that he could do damage. To lots of people. At the same time. (Cheater).

A second attempt proved more productive, despite the plaintive cries of the mages to move the boss just two steps closer to Jaina falling upon the callously deaf ears of main tank Bizzam, who laughed in disdain at the obvious ploy for more mana. We’re pretty certain the mages would have done over 1 MILLION dps if he had just listened thanks to the recent spirit/mana regen changes, but, well… tanks are usually about as smart as stumps.

We think it comes from getting repeatedly hit on the head by large metallic things.

Being horde, we all had a good laugh as Jaina’s town was overrun in the sequence following Anetheron’s demise, and with spirits soaring to match our climb to the horde outpost atop the mountain, we made ready to send Kazrogal to join his bretheren.

Our second attempt at Kaz became the classic snails paced dps race, as dwindling dps collided head on with dwindling boss health and crashed to a halt at a meager 5% health left. Unfortunately, Chutoi’s mom said it was getting too late, so he took his ball home with him, effectively ending the raid for the night. We’re pretty sure his needing to sleep was a lie, as everyone knows that lawyers are soulless, blood sucking vampires… and at his age, we’re not sure he could even find his bed regardless.

All said, a pretty good first night into Mount Hyjal, and we look forward to the next two bosses later this week.

With 2.4 looming on the horizon and the need for dropping Vashj and Kael’Thas for attunement to Black Temple and Mount Hyjal being removed, Calzowned made a guild goal to do our best to down Vashj and Kael’Thas before patch.

On Easter Sunday, Calzowned ventured into SSC to have some fun hunting Easter Eggs with Lady Vashj, and low and behold, eggs she did drop, in the form of our first Tier 5 helms!

Vashj proved to be a taxing encounter and really pushed our members to perform at the top of their game. I am very proud to report that we have downed Vashj for the first time! Way to go Calzowned!

We heard that Karathress was having a Valentine’s day party so we thought we’d drop by for a visit.  Unfortunately, Leotheras was in the way, so we had to… dispatch him.

This was the first time we had attempted Leotheras.  After a few tries, poor Leotheras was laid to rest, finally at peace with his inner demon.

After offing Leo, we headed on to pay Karathress a visit and take his Valentine day goodies.  We had only ever spent about an hour playing with the Fathom Lord in the past, but we were confident we would figure this one out.  And figure it out we did, defeating Karathress with only 1 death, which fortunately was not anyone of importance.

Two guild firsts in one night, and we continue to roll on through the 25 man content.  Next up is Vashj, and then on to Kael’thas.  We have a goal to properly enter Black Temple before patch 2.4 goes live so we now have a bit of a race on our hands.  But I feel we are up for the task, we have solid, competent raiders and I am confident we will break into Black Temple within a few weeks.

Calzowned is still recruiting certain classes.  We are looking for a couple of resto druids, a holy priest (or two!), a possible holy paladin, and a warlock or two.  Please check out our recruitment section for more info!

Well, the servers finally decided to cooperate to allow us the opportunity to challenge Morogrim. Recent instability has thwarted our last 3 raids to give this boss a chance, but last night the servers held strong and gave us the shots we were looking for. We showed up ready to figure this guy out. To our surprise, Morogrim turned out to be quite a pansy and we downed him on our 3rd attempt. Oh, did I also mention that we didn’t even have a full raid? 24 raiders downed Moro on our first ever attempts on him, on our 3rd try. Needless to say, I’m quite proud of our raiders.

We are still recruiting members to fill out our ranks. We are currently looking for a couple of warlocks, a hunter, a holy priest, and a resto druid. We are also open to other DPS raiders. Please check out our recruitment section for more information!

After taking about a month off from Zul’Aman, Calzowned decided to turn our attention to ZA again and managed a full clear on our first night back! Great job to our ZA crew!

We are still recruiting a few more raiders! We are looking for a holy priest or two, a resto druid, another warlock and a hunter! Visit our forums if you are interested!

Well, we knew it would happen next time we paid Hydross a visit, and sure enough, Hydross was knocked out in short order. On our 2nd night of attempts on Hydross, on our 4th attempt of the night, we killed Hydross with zero deaths.

Great job to everyone! Here’s to heading further into SSC!

If you are interested in joining a growing guild who is dedicated to having a mature, and fun raiding environment, give us a look! We are currently looking for Holy Priests, a Resto Druid, a Hunter and a Warlock or two. Please check out our recruitment section for more information!

Calzowned has really been shining since the holidays. For last night’s raid we decided it was time turn our sights to A’lar for a full night of work on this encounter. It took us a few tries to get our execution in order, and on the 8th attempt, A’lar was downed with only 1 death.

This kill was particularly satisfying to me, huge thanks to everyone and excellent work by all! Hydross is next!

Calzowned is recruiting! We are currently looking for a dedicated Holy Priest or two. If you might be interested in a mature and fun guild, give us a look!

It’s been a while since we tried Lurker Below, so we decided to give it another shot last night. After our first attempt, it was pretty obvious that he was going to go down and we dropped Lurker on our 2nd attempt. We’ll be setting our sights on Hydross next!