Somewhere, deep in the bowels of the Blizzard Entertainment Command Bunker…
Blizzard Employee #37: Sir, we have a problem.
Blizzard Raid Development Engineer, middle grade (class II): <Sighs> What is it now, 37?
#37: We’ve received a call from an angry player sir, a mage.
BRDE:mg (II): An angry mage eh, there’s a shocker. Transfer ‘m down to the mage class mental torment R & D division, they’ll take care of it.
#37: Actually sir, he’s calling to complain about his Guild, and the sorry state of our raid encounters… he called us “pansies” sir <cringes away from BRDE:mg(II)>
angry silence falls over the bunker.
BRDE:mg (II): <glares at 37> Pansies?
#37: Uh, yeah. He said his guild keeps beating our encounters… we’re not making them tough enough.
BRDE:mg (II): That’s absurd! He’s absurd! Tell him he’s absurd! His guild is probably a bunch of mountain-dew chugging, hunch-backed toe sweaters who’ve sacrificed everything to the angry raid gods to feed their item ilevel addiction, that doesn’t count!
#37: He, umm…, says they’re a “casual” guild sir. They keep beating our BT bosses the first night they try them .
BRDE:mg (II): Akama doesn’t count, you know what we did with the hopeless incompetent that designed that sorry excuse for a raid boss.
#37: No sir, he said last week it was Bloodboil, and this week it was Reliquary. Just to rub it in, he said they’ll probably go ahead and finish Mother this Sunday because they haven’t really got anything better to do.
BRDE:mg (II): By Archimonde’s pee-stained tighty whities! What the hell is his problem anyway?!?
#37 : He can’t play Wednesdays, sir.
BRDE:mg (II): Can’t. Play. Wednesdays?
#37: No sir. He says that on Tuesdays, they farm all the earlier bosses they’ve done before, then on Wednesdays his guild kills the next new boss. He’s angry because he doesn’t get to participate.
BRDE:mg (II): Doesn’t participate?
#37: He plays twice per week.
BRDE:mg (II): <deflates> Twice per week… what does he think WE can do about this.
#37: Well, for starters, he’s hoping we can turn the difficulty up on Wednesday nights… I believe he said ‘crank her to 11 midweek’, whatever that means; either that, or nerf warlocks, hunters, warriors, and rogues.
BRDE:mg (II): <knowing smile spreads across his face> AHA! Beneath it all, I taste the sweet tang of mage qq tears! 37, patch through to the mage class mental torment R & D division, tell them we’ve got a live one for them.
BRDE:mg (II): Oh, and #37, let’s see if we can’t slow these guys down some… <sinister chuckle>. Call double agent Chutoi and make sure he’s available on Wednesday nights, that should take care of “progression” for a while…