Is it getting hot in here?

Azgalor Down. Archimonde on deck.

What is it with Blizz, and standing in fire? I suppose it’s one way to tell if people are asleep at the wheel or not. Tonight we got our first real shots at Azgalor and it really felt like the night was on cruise control; we were finishing all the waves early, and dropped him on the second attempt. We would’ve probably one shotted him except for a certain someone who didn’t get to Thrall quite as quickly as they expected Blink would get them there… well… ahem… yes, let’s move on (nothing to see here).

Archimonde is a whole other matter.

It’s pretty clear this guy is going to be the biggest test of guild patience and perseverance we’ve faced. I don’t remember another fight where you can so clearly point the finger of absolute undeniable blame at an individual for causing a wipe… it’s really a rather cruel joke on Blizz’s part. We’ve read that this is really a test of individual skill, but more than anything it feels like it’s more of a test of guild unity. You’re going to wipe, and it’s going to be someone’s fault.

Regardless, I blame Bizzam, seeing as how he was off living the life of a high roller in Vegas while the rest of us learned how to play “guess how much lag you have before you splat into the ground”, or at least those of us who don’t have “Blink” (suckers!).

(oh, wait… raid wipe, right. Please press the Shiny Red Button at the right time, everyone).

We’ll be back to roll them bones a few more times Archi. You wait and see.

That was a boss fight?

Last time I wrote one of these, I did it from the perspective of Auctioneer Yarley (highly recommended, I wouldn’t use anyone else… the rest of them are crooks).

This week though, I actually got to attend the weekly slashfest through Black Temple and had the satisfaction of abusing Supremus and Shade.

What made the experience all the more fun, was how quickly the Shade of Akama encounter is over, and the stunned silence where all the noobs (yah, me) nervously glance around, waiting for the other shoe to drop, while uniformly wondering, “that was a boss fight?”. I suppose I’m making light of everyone else’s coordination, but in the time it took to figure out what it was I was supposed to be sheeping, we were looking down at the loot-infested-still-smoking corpse, and wondering when phase 2 was going to start.

On the other hand, it’s nice to get a break from encounters that are drawn out, and right on the ragged edge. Tonight we one-shotted Naj’entus, Supremus, and Akama, but didn’t get to try any further because we spent the first half of the raid night doing progression on Azgalor, which isn’t nearly as much fun, since a wipe means drudging through the 8 waves of aoe again. Hopefully we’ll get a shot at Archimonde later this week… yeah, nice and easy… that’ll be fun.

Free Epics for All!

It was the easiest night of raiding ever.

I didn’t use a single mana pot, healthstone, mana gem… (I did hit iceblock by accident once), the night flew by in a haze of mindless sweet oblivion.

Of course, I was at the auction house… the screams of the damned and dying over Vent and Guildchat said otherwise as the rest of the guild threw themselves at Naj’entus, Supremus, and Akama.

Or at least that’s what I wanted to hear… that I was somehow desperately needed to rush in there and save the day. Sadly, it turns out the buggers went and two-shotted everything, so apparently we have some pretty good players in the guild. (Not all of them mind you).

(HA! See what I did there? Now you’re wondering, “Am I one of the good ones, or the not so good ones?” I jest… You’re all good. (Maybe)   …(not Hopkins)).

With Supremus and Akama falling last night, that makes 6 new bosses down in 4 nights of raiding, which I’d like to think is pretty good for a casual guild that tries to raid only 2 nights per week (working on that third night now, much to the dismay of significant others everywhere).

Of course, we’re running out of punks to fight, and will have to start getting serious… with a little luck maybe tonight we can get a sneak peak at Archimonde and the russian roulette that is the Archimonde dance.

Black Temple… where are the sacrificial virgins?

Najentus down (Apparently they’re celebrating their 28th birthday in Portland .)

With last week’s foray into Mount Hyjal resulting in 3 new notches in our metaphoric swords, we turned our attention this week to Black Temple.

What a dump! The pinnacle of WoW’s instance library feels like a perverse, twisted version of Molten Core, only with 900% more camera and “stuck in a crack” annoyance factor. Having said that, the intrepid (and cowardly, let’s not forget the cowardly) explorers sloshed through the slime, setting their target on Naj’entus.

Nothing quite shows one’s affection for a guildmate like pulling a giant spine out of their forehead…
I think there’s a sort of perverse pleasure in watching Throt run in to tank a mob and get instagibbed from lack of healing… although in this case it looks like the culprit may have been a miscount on the number of healers we brought with us as opposed to the usual more sinister agenda.

In the frenzy of culling our figurative (and literal!) horde down to the requisite 25, we apparently didn’t realize that only 7 of those were of the healing persuasion. 8 wipes before we successfully popped bubble-boys bubble permanently will teach us to use more than one hand to count our healers next time. In all fairness to the healers, the 7 of them DID manage to get us to sub 10% on Naj several times, so kudos where kudos are deserved.

While it was getting a little late, we were feeling bloodthirsty (is there any other way for horde to feel?), and being a mere 20 minutes from our first encounter with Supremus, we couldn’t resist the lure of free epics (after all, everyone says he’s a pushover, right)?

Well, apparently everyone who DIDN’T think he’s a pushover had less than 21,000 hp and is lying in a shallow grave somewhere, as we were left scratching our heads as to why he kept turning and instagibbing the melee dps. We eventually figured out his nasty trick with the double hateful bolts in under a second.

Sadly, this revelation came about 10 minutes AFTER we called the raid as it was getting late, but hey, Supremus? (is that a Taco Bell special?), we know your naughty secret, and we’ll be back this week.

Mount Hyjal, and not a Sherpa in sight…

First of, credit to where it’s due, this update is brought to you by Eanne. No screenshots available, as I was slacking last night…but we may add some later!

The night didn’t start out well.

A certain rogue (name withheld so he can live with his shame privately), while clicking through Jaina’s dialog in a vain attempt to leave the instance, sent the guild scrambling ignominiously into the hills for their life when the event was started with only half the raid in the zone.

After Jaina picked herself up from a quick dirtnap, Calzowned’s first foray into Mount Hyjal went much more smoothly… Like an 800 lb gorilla, the group brute forced down the first 8 waves of trash on its first attempt, putting Rage Winterchill back in the ground where he belongs; a rousing round of cheers rang out when it was discovered that no one important had died.

Anetheron was next to the plate, and schooled the raid in the gentle art of boss management when it was discovered that he could do damage. To lots of people. At the same time. (Cheater).

A second attempt proved more productive, despite the plaintive cries of the mages to move the boss just two steps closer to Jaina falling upon the callously deaf ears of main tank Bizzam, who laughed in disdain at the obvious ploy for more mana. We’re pretty certain the mages would have done over 1 MILLION dps if he had just listened thanks to the recent spirit/mana regen changes, but, well… tanks are usually about as smart as stumps.

We think it comes from getting repeatedly hit on the head by large metallic things.

Being horde, we all had a good laugh as Jaina’s town was overrun in the sequence following Anetheron’s demise, and with spirits soaring to match our climb to the horde outpost atop the mountain, we made ready to send Kazrogal to join his bretheren.

Our second attempt at Kaz became the classic snails paced dps race, as dwindling dps collided head on with dwindling boss health and crashed to a halt at a meager 5% health left. Unfortunately, Chutoi’s mom said it was getting too late, so he took his ball home with him, effectively ending the raid for the night. We’re pretty sure his needing to sleep was a lie, as everyone knows that lawyers are soulless, blood sucking vampires… and at his age, we’re not sure he could even find his bed regardless.

All said, a pretty good first night into Mount Hyjal, and we look forward to the next two bosses later this week.